surprisingly,
i am yawning like mad now.
i am sleepy !
._.

will i procrastinate again?
I CAN'T CONCENTRATE !
dammitt...
rawrrr
i never felt so shitty in my life before.
these arguments are starting to tear me apart.
i don't even feel safe here now.
but..
where can i go?
i can't run away from it..
it's either i fight it off,
or i perish..
today is one of those rare days i made my dad smile .
:)
lol
beware..
i am about to make a fool out of myself.

i guess it's true that different people will look differently even when they are wearing the same thing.
and i can't help but wonder why i am always the uglier one.

this is me, with jade's shades:

i look like a freaking housefly. ._.

and this is jade, with well...her shades :

i only managed to capture her from the side cause she kept looking away. the mr meng yoe was actually teaching that time you see. her shades was on the table. so the tangan gatal me grabbed it and played around with it. macam tak pernah tgk. -_-"

why does the assignments never seems to end?
i'm getting sick of it la..
seriously..
during the secondary school years, we all went through english.
we used to complain and procrastinate every time we were given a 300 word essay to write.
...at least i know i used to do that. lol
but its not like i don't have essays now.
we all still do..
with the word limit at least 5 times more than last time. sighhh..oh well
anywayyyyyyy..
i suddenly terkenang balik a particular essay topic which pn shalini (my eng teacher) gave my class as hw.
the reason why i still remember it is because i did not write it. i asked my bro for a favor. and he had nothing better to do that time i guess. and he agreed to write it for me. *smiles widely*
i actually kept that essay for remembrance. lol
d title is, 'revenge has never been sweeter' ..or sth like that. lol

this is his masterpiece, oh and it may not be suitable for certain readers. and its a little confusing. so yea, only for the eyes of the smart and hardcore. lol
.
.
Dusk is setting in, using its ethereal ability to halt the Day’s blazing incandescence and coax Night into another long, dark shift. Discreetly and ominously, darkness creeps in from the East, vanquishing longitudes millimeter by millimeter. The south-westerly wind blows a chilling gust that sends the autumn, dried leaves flying about. I pulled my windbreaker tighter around me to thwart off the icy intrusion of the wind. As I do so, I notice the dried blood on my fists. My lips curled a sinister smile that seems to meet the scar on my right cheek. What a joy, beating up that junior. It is his bad for not giving up his money. As my thought drifted off to the chubby, one-eyed Daryn, I suddenly feel a sharp pain at my nape. I merely manage to make another step before I plunges into the dark chasm of unconsciousness.

* * *

Memories of my first day in high school lay freshly imprinted behind my eyelids, seeing it every time I close my eyes. I was crossing the threshold into high school when I had a bad omen about that day. I was right. Just when I found the locker with my tag “Daryn” on it, a group of seniors surrounded me. Then, this over-sized punk with a scar across his right cheek demanded protection fee from me. Not having any cash with me that day, I told them the truth before begging them to leave me alone. But I soon learned that they will never, ever take a negative reply of any sort as an answer. In a swift motion, the punk grabbed my hair and slammed my face into my locker, sending shards of my broken glasses in every direction, including one that went through my right pupil. And I also learned that for them to leave me alone was as good as seeing pigs flying across the bright, goddamn blue skies. After that eventful day, the subsequent days followed in similar style. I was daily treated as their punching bag and once in a while, they would do the school a favor of cleaning up the school’s toilet by using my face to scrub the slime off the urinals.

Now, as I lie hidden in underbrush, I see the punk who took half my life out of me. But today, he will pay. Oh yes, he will. Principal with compounded interest. Whether he wants to or not. With my one good eye, I take a good aim at his neck with my tranquilizer gun I bought from eBay. I pull the trigger, and release a silent chuckle as the punk retires to the ground.

* * *
Splash!

After what seems like an eternity falling into darkness, I finally fall into some pool. Or something with water. That was what I thought was happening until I realized I am back into reality, wet and bounded at all limbs. Somebody just emptied a bucket of water on me, obviously trying to wake me up. Before long, I regain my senses, all five of them. I notice that I am in a middle of an unfurnished room, save for the wooden chair I am sitting on. And I also notice that I am not alone. Standing three feet in front of me is the cyclop Daryn. My fear intensifies when I see the tool in his right hand. It is a battery-operated hand drill.

* * *

And here I am, standing on top of my own world, with the man I abhor and despise most in the whole wide galaxy. I turn the table on him as his whole body, bounded, is at my disposal. Should I plug out his digits, fry them and force him to consume it? Nah, that will only give him more energy to rebel. Or maybe I can tear his scalp of his head like pulling a carpet off a floor. Nope, I wouldn’t want my hand to venture into his lice-infested hair. Then I came up with a perfect execution.

With the hand drill in my solid grip, I step towards him. Undaunted by his sudden shower of obscenities, I bring the hand drill to life. then, I use my left hand to pinch his nose and push his head back, causing his mouth to open wide and big. Holding that position, I then give him his first dental treatment he had in years. Blood splatters everywhere as I drill each and every tooth off his gum. When he starts to choke on his blood, I let go of his head. His incessant hurling of profanities now is all but a mere monotonous gibberish.

And finally, the finale. An eye for an eye. Except that he also has the compounded interest to settle. So I guess I will just take two eyes instead. When I advance towards him again, he seems to know of my next action – he closes his eyes. Oh well, I guess I will just have to penetrate through the eyelids. And so I did. When I am done, I took a step back to witness the result thus far. Two streams of scarlet trail down from each cavity that was his eyes, soaking the blood-crusted area around his mouth. He is dead silent now, probably even dead. Now we are even, you blind, toothless punk. Man, revenge has never been sweeter.
.
.
not a way i would ever think of when writing my essay.
half of you probably didn't even read the essay.
but those of you who read it,
my bro's not a psychopath or anything alright?
he's the coolest bro i have.
probably cause he's the only bro i have also. but that's not the point.
the point is, he's the best. =)
at least he doesn't make me BRIBE him
with starbucks and doughnuts when i need a ride somewhere. *cough*ivantong*cough*
lol
i'm still addicted to one tree hill.
but now,
i'm addicted to 'one republic - dreaming out loud' as well.
can't stop listening to it =)
.
.
.
ithinkireallyneedtostop
stopreadingallthepastmessagesyousent
stopreminiscingaboutthetimeswespenttogether
stopthinkingabouthowyoutaughtmetoplaygunbound
stopdreamingaboutyou
juststop.
howcanierasethesememories?
causeifeellikeafoolnowwaitingforraintoturnintosnow.
with everything that's happening around me right now,
confusion is nothing new.
however, feelings and emotions prove that i'm worthy of creation.

there will always be one week that i hate more than anything else every month.
no wonder my mood was so damn foul for the past few days.
kinda as if i was releasing all the shits in me mentally the past few days
and now im releasing all the shits in me physically. lol
im seeing blood again..
sth suddenly came to my mind after seeing so much blood..
i suddenly thought, can these blood be donated? HAHA
hahahahaha i know..stooooooooooooooopid. -_-"
just...ignore me please. lol

.

it kinda felt worse than waiting for spm results for a moment
sitting there for three hours,
waiting for her to call out your name,
just for a one-on-one talk.
and it was definitely not worth the wait.
but,
she does have a point.