i cant sleep.

random talk : i feel like eating icecream cake now. i think only 2 fellas on earth knows the secret about me and icecream cake.. oh well..life's like this. jeff ! i want ice cream cake.. chances of you reading this : 0% !!

im starting to view my glass as EMPTY..but with ice..><


i have a presentation tomorrow..or to be exact, in 9 hours time. and..i've not done anything bout it yet. i have NO idea what am i gonna talk about and all..die die die..

oh..

and..i cannot talk in class tomorrow except during presentation ! ooooosh !! ><

5th of may 2007

the date : 5th of May 2007
the occasion : my 19th brother's birthday which i just remembered and have not wished him yet. ><

oh well..i have not seen him yet since last night anyway.

anyway, yup i've started college already. made some cool frens with absolutely pretty much 100% freedom. i feel so out of place sometimes..for still having a curfew and all. imagine going clubbing and coming back at 12. that sux man. >< i am bloody hell trying to upload some pics here but i cant for some reason la. heck..i'll do it next time..when i have more patience.

i hate drinking and then getting so awfully emo after that.
im getting kinda tired of being emo over the same person everytime.
but i cant help it.. ><
go ahead..scold me..=/

went clubbing with jas, mich, joe, hot mama and her husband last night.
and.........
i hate a curfew..effff..
jas came to pick me up at bout 8.30..
had to leave the hse early..
she met my parents ! haha
went to pick up joe and mich after that..
then off we went to our destination..
on the way there, i had the urge to talk to him again..
so i sent him a msg..
and..crossed my fingers literally that he will reply..?
blehh..
but oh well..forgot that i msged him after a while..
he didnt reply btw.. =(
got there, got in for free, got drinks for free..
haha..basically everything was free for us la that night..
thanx to jas =)
for some reason, once we entered,
jas disappeared into the thin air..
so mich, joe and i had to entertain ourselves..
camwhore giler..but 70% of d pics werent nice..
and i blame the overly blinding flash ! blehhhh
hot mama and her husband came after a while..
everyone was looking hot that night..
except for me..
heck..even the bouncer looked hotter than me..lol
i was dressed so decently..heck i was wearing slippers !
no makeup, no earrings..even joe had an earring ! ><
so yup, camwhore again..hehe
and drink drink drink..
there was some 'pole dancing' performance that night..
but yea..not interested.. ><
before that, there was a band playing..we noticed that the guitarist was looking kinda umm...fierce / serious while the other members were moving around..
oh well, maybe she just got dumped by her bf or something. =/
guess what time i had to go home ?
before 12..i knowwwwwwwwww...
go ahead..say swtttttt... ><
jas kept her promise and sent me home..
but joe was driving..
damn..i think i was feeling damn emo in the car..

*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#

waicheen wished she's feeling like this :
i hate thinking about you cuz i know you're not thinking about me.
i hate the fact that i gave so much just to keep you with me but you still left.
i hate getting emo about you everytime i drink.
i hate the way you used me to get what you want.
i hate you for making me fall for you.
i hate you for bumping into me on the 2nd of june 2005.
but i know i'll get over you.
cuz you're not worth my tears.
and i probably gave you an ocean of it.
fuck you.
may you rot in hell.
thats how much i hate you now.
get out of my life before i stab you with a knife.
turn off the lights, i dont want to see your face.
i dont want to be anywhere near you.
being with you is worse than being in hell.
your face makes me sick.
counting the minutes till i get out of this misery.
Lose Your Mask.

but..
she's feeling like this :

roses are red,
violets are blue,
the angels in heaven,
knows i love you.
how is it possible to hate someone yet love them so much..
he has his expectations,
and i didnt meet it,
but, i still love him.
Love You Massively.

random :
childish i may be, but im just heartbroken.
you can have these memories, i dont need them.
you took my heart and broke it hard.

trust me, this will be the last time im blogging about you.
after this post,
im gonna kick you out of my life,
stand up tall
learn to love again
but with someone else.
even the ikan bilis in the sungai is worth more than you.